Relationship Triggers Are Initiations — Not Invasions
“Triggers aren’t your enemy. They’re doorways to your freedom.”
🌟 INTRO: WHEN PAIN KNOCKS, OPEN THE DOOR
Most people run from emotional triggers. Shut down. Blame others. Withdraw.
But what if being triggered wasn’t a violation? What if it was a visitation?
A sacred signal. A call from your highest self saying:
“There’s something here ready to be healed.”
Triggers are not punishments. They are portals. And nowhere are they activated more fiercely — or more divinely — than in relationships.
🚀 PART I: WHAT TRIGGERS REALLY ARE (AND AREN’T)
A trigger is an emotional reaction that feels bigger than the moment. It’s often tied to:
- Past trauma
- Unhealed wounds
- Subconscious beliefs
According to Dr. Nicole LePera, holistic psychologist:
“Triggers illuminate the parts of ourselves that still live in survival mode.”
Source: How to Do the Work – Dr. Nicole LePera
They are not:
- Proof you’re broken
- Evidence someone “made you” feel something
- Failures in emotional strength
They are:
- Invitations to deeper healing
- Mirrors of buried pain
- Messages from your inner child
Pain doesn’t arrive to break you. It arrives to break you open.
🤦️ PART II: REAL STORY — VIOLA DAVIS’S JOURNEY WITH TRIGGERS
Oscar-winner Viola Davis speaks openly about how her marriage with Julius Tennon surfaced unhealed wounds.
In her memoir Finding Me, she shares:
“I came into this marriage expecting him to rescue me. When he didn’t, my old abandonment wounds screamed.”
Instead of blaming Julius, Viola turned inward. She:
- Entered therapy
- Confronted childhood trauma
- Began self-parenting practices
Their marriage became a catalyst for her inner liberation — not just relational satisfaction.
Source: Finding Me – Viola Davis
💡 PART III: HOW RELATIONSHIP TRIGGERS INITIATE SPIRITUAL GROWTH
Triggers in connection often surface:
- Fear of abandonment
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of inadequacy
- Fear of engulfment (losing oneself)
If welcomed consciously, they become:
- Greater self-awareness
- Emotional resilience
- Expanded capacity for intimacy
The trigger isn’t the problem. The unhealed wound is.
Relationships are not supposed to avoid triggers. They’re supposed to reveal them.
🔮 PART IV: PRACTICES FOR HEALING THROUGH TRIGGERS
1. Pause Instead of React
When triggered, resist the urge to lash out or shut down. Breathe. Feel the physical sensations.
2. Name the Real Wound
Ask yourself:
- “What does this feeling remind me of?”
- “When did I first feel this way?”
3. Soothe the Inner Child
Imagine speaking to the part of you that got hurt long ago. Offer them reassurance now.
4. Separate the Past from the Present
Recognize: this person may be activating the wound, but they didn’t create it.
5. Express Instead of Suppress
Use conscious communication:
“When you did [X], it triggered an old wound about [Y].”
Read: Nonviolent Communication – Marshall Rosenberg
🌌 PART V: BECOMING A SPIRITUAL ALCHEMIST
Spiritual alchemy is the process of turning emotional “lead” (pain) into “gold” (wisdom).
When you treat triggers as initiations:
- You stop fearing emotions
- You stop blaming partners
- You start partnering with your own healing
Every tear carries a teaching. Every rage holds a root. Every heartbreak reveals hidden treasure.
🙏 FINAL WORD: MEET YOURSELF AT THE DOOR
The next time your heart races. The next time you want to run or rage. The next time you feel abandoned, unseen, unworthy—
Pause.
Instead of asking:
- “Why are they doing this to me?”
Ask:
- “What is rising in me asking to be healed?”
Because relationship triggers are not here to destroy you. They are here to deliver you — to your wholeness.
And the greatest love story?
The one where you meet yourself, again and again, every time the old pain knocks… and you answer with grace.
📖 RESOURCES & FURTHER READING
