Trusting After Trauma: A Spirit-Led Approach to Safe Connection
“Your heart isn’t broken. It’s wiser now. Let it lead you to safer shores.”
🌟 INTRO: TRUST ISN’T LOST — IT’S REBUILT
After betrayal, abuse, or abandonment, trust can feel like a luxury you can’t afford. Walls go up. Hearts go cold. Connection feels risky, even dangerous.
But you weren’t born to live armored. You were born to love — wisely.
Spiritual healing doesn’t tell you to forget the wound. It teaches you to lead from a heart that remembers and rises.
🚀 PART I: HOW TRAUMA ERODES TRUST
According to trauma specialist Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, trauma imprints itself on the nervous system.
“The body keeps the score.”
Source: The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk
When your trust was shattered:
- Your nervous system became hyper-vigilant
- Safety became priority #1 (even at the cost of connection)
- Small risks started feeling life-threatening
This isn’t weakness. It’s your body’s beautiful, brilliant attempt to protect you.
But survival is not the same as living. And love demands living.
🤦️ PART II: REAL STORY — GABRIELLE BERNSTEIN’S HEALING JOURNEY
Gabrielle Bernstein, New York Times bestselling author, shares her trauma recovery openly.
After years of addiction and emotional trauma, she realized:
“I had a fear of intimacy because I didn’t trust myself to be safe in the presence of others.”
Through deep spiritual practices including meditation, trauma therapy, and prayer, she began restoring trust from the inside out.
Her relationships transformed not because she trusted them blindly — but because she trusted her own discernment deeply.
Source: Happy Days – Gabrielle Bernstein
💡 PART III: SIGNS YOU’RE READY TO TRUST (DIFFERENTLY)
- You no longer ignore red flags in the name of hope
- You honor intuition over impulse
- You recognize when your body says “No”
- You hold space for vulnerability without demanding perfection
Trust after trauma isn’t naive. It’s sacred discernment.
🔮 PART IV: THE SPIRIT-LED PATH TO SAFE CONNECTION
1. Trust Yourself First
If you can’t trust your instincts, you’ll forever second-guess others. Build self-trust through:
- Keeping promises to yourself
- Honoring your “No” without guilt
- Listening to your inner “Yes” without shame
2. Heal the Nervous System
Your body must feel safe to love. Tools:
- Breathwork
- EMDR therapy
- Somatic experiencing
Read: Waking the Tiger – Peter Levine
3. Practice Small Safe Connections
Start small:
- Trusting a friend with a vulnerable story
- Asking for help
- Setting a gentle boundary and noticing the response
4. Differentiate Intuition from Fear
- Fear screams “Run!”
- Intuition whispers “Notice.”
Meditation and stillness practices refine this difference.
5. Invite, Don’t Force
You don’t have to crash through the walls. You can gently open windows.
Love respects your pace. So should you.
🌌 PART V: TRUSTING DOESN’T MEAN TRUSTING EVERYONE
Spirituality doesn’t mean abandoning wisdom.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation.
Trust is a gift you offer after careful, conscious observation. It is not owed. It is earned.
You can be loving and discerning. Compassionate and cautious. Open and wise.
Love without boundaries isn’t spiritual. It’s self-abandonment.
Read: Set Boundaries, Find Peace – Nedra Glover Tawwab
🙏 FINAL WORD: YOUR HEART DESERVES A NEW STORY
The wound is real. The betrayal was real. The heartbreak was real.
But none of it disqualifies you from love.
It qualifies you to:
- Love from deeper wisdom
- Trust with sharper discernment
- Connect from your highest self, not your wounded self
You were not broken beyond repair. You were broken open to rebuild with grace.
So yes, protect your spirit. But don’t exile your heart. Because the world needs what only a healed, wise, courageous heart can offer.
And that heart?
Still beats inside you. Ready to love again. Wiser. Braver. Freer.
📖 RESOURCES & FURTHER READING
